Do you sit through your son's Trial when you know he is guilty

It is November of 2015. I had lost my big corporate job in March and I was working on contract back to the same employer. Rather a sweet deal if you ask me. Got a big pay out, had a couple months off  and then a nice contract.  Had a fabulous trip to New Orleans to attend a conference in our industry. Had a fabulous time! My  drinking I must admit was excessive, but hey when in New Orleans... In hindsight the drinking was not just social, but then I was in denial
Things professionally and financially were looking good. My marriage was in a good place. My oldest son was living with his girlfriend and they had just had a baby together in September. Finally a grandchild I could have a relationship with.
I had, had no contact with my youngest son for several months, not totally sure where he was. We were estranged after some exchanges where I simply would not come rescue him, bring him money, or enable him.  When you stopped "doing"for him, the hydra would come out usually in abusive texts and sometimes voice messages.  I had, had enough of that...and he was like, fuck you. You aren't my "real mother" ( one of his favourite lines....) and then disappeared.
 I was anxious about that but the funny thing is sometimes no news is good news.  At that time the violence and vitriol has been gone awhile so I was less anxious. Not a state of bliss but not a state of crisis. I was rather living in a nice little bubble I think.

Then in mid November the phone rang........
It was a lawyer from Ottawa telling me my son was in jail and that he wanted contact with me.
It was like a huge whoosh came over me and I sunk into myself and the memory of our last exchanges. I felt sick and wanted to hang up, but I couldn't.  She said the charges were serious, sexual assault, forcible confinement, assault, uttering death threats.  All that I heard was " sexual assault" I was like OMG!!  My mind raced with the possibilities for this without know the "story". The lawyer was so sweet on the phone and made me feel like this can all be dealt with, and  I would be an awful person if I said no.  It was subtle, but it was there. I started to reel and think. Part of me was like hell no!  I don't want a part in any of this.  What in the hell did he do and to whom?  What kind of monster is he?  Good Grief!  After a minor melt down I settled my brain and started to think pragmatically and then  " Mom Gene" came out. He needs someone,  he is all alone, what can it hurt to support him not condone what he has done if he was guilty but be loving and forgiving. That is why Mom's are supposed to do right. Pick them up, love unconditionally and forgive their foibles. Although I am not overly religious I believe in the teachings and kept thinking, " What would Jesus do?" Love and forgive.   So after mental machinations I agreed to the contact.  He was at a correctional facility in another community to opted for taking his phone calls and writing to him as visiting was tricky.

Letters started to arrive. They were filled with jail life and a lot about how he was not guilty. I must admit, I was thinking there of course are 2 sides to every story. Many of these young women he tends to gravitate to have low self esteem, bring drama etc....maybe it was an exaggeration. I felt he was probably guilty of some things but not the more horrendous things. So after some conversations with his lawyer and a couple in person visits at the local jail he was transferred to, I agree to go to the trial.  It was scheduled for March and would probably be a week. Why I week, I was not sure...I was about to find out.