It was around 1990, I was in my late 20's and felt it was time for us to start a family. This to me was the natural progression after being happily married for 5 years. Is this not what we are all supposed to do? Get married, get career established and have kids. I think society expects this and I of course being the Type A, driven person figured this was next on our "list". We at this point were in house # 2 a really modern, what my Dad and family called "yuppy" house, in a suburban type neighbourhood south of Ottawa. Lots of black and white, lots of leather, expensive furniture bought at trendy furniture stores. We were rather living the dream. I had a great career as did my husband, we were making ( and spending) alot of money. Next step kids....of course!!
I had had an IUD and had that removed and we proceeded to have a normal sex life with no birth control. I figured just let it happen even though we rather liked the double income no kids life to a point. I can say even though I wanted kids, I was personally very caught up in a career that had my travelling, lots of company events, lots of socializing and making more money than many of my peers. I had the designer wardrobe, the expensive gym membership, active social lie, the nice car. It was distorting my reality though. I figured kids would just fit into our life....Hmmm little did I know how wrong I was.
My husband was significantly more grounded than me though and one business trip where I had missed calling him one evening, he called me to task. I had been out with a work group in Chicago. We went to a blues club, we all got very drunk, partied with a bunch of strangers who were more than interested in me and my female colleague. Thankfully the male colleagues that were with us had the presence of mind to ensure we got out of there safely, albeit we were all drunk and driving to boot. I got to my hotel, passed out and forgot to call my husband. I did not call him until the next day at the airport and he was more than livid. Livid I had not called and when I told him about the situation he said...we will talk when I get home.
That talk on a Saturday morning I will never forget. Our marriage could have ended but instead we decided we needed a change. A change from the lifestyle we were living, a change to bring us back to reality. We decided that the "yuppy" house was not for us, we were drowning in debt, neither of us liked the plasticity of suburban life. It was so manufactured and so artificial. I also was not pregnant yet after a good year and a half of trying. Was our lifestyle contributing to that? Was it karma or hand of God, saying....nope you are too self involved to have kids? So an about shift lifestyle change. Sold the yuppy house and bought a cute little house in the woods further away from the city. Ah....so perfect, quiet, relaxed no annoying suburban neighbours and so private. We immersed ourselves in the place, put in a garden, did some landscaping, bought a little tractor, and settled in to a rural lifestyle much more in keeping with who we both really were and who we were brought up. It was like Aha!! So refreshing. Oh yes and lots of unprotected sex, all over the house.
So why not pregnant? Seemed odd. Yes at times I had some bleeding and bad periods but I chalked that up to other things. It seemed though after almost 3 years time to start investigating that. So off for investigations. First step...SPERM test...hubby not impressed......
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